Really, you say?
Is it possible that Justin "Tripset30" Cherot actually had a good session?
That produced profit?
Yes, it is. By no means am I claiming to be world-beater (especially after blowing a sizeable 3-1 chip lead in my last sit-n-go), but I think tonight I had my most solid session in about six months. I only played two low limit sit n go's tonight, but I saw some really encouraging signs that my slump is, if not done, about to be a memory.
Sit-n-go poker is definitely different than cash game poker, but I can take principles learned from playing tonight and apply them to my next cash game. One thing I did tonight that maybe I hadn't done in a long time is really focus, and I think I can attribute that to the fact that making a profit at such small limits wasn't as important to me as working on my game and making the correct decisions at the table. Or, if not always making the right decision, at least not the costly one.
I made some good laydowns and some hands where I called with the thinness, once for all my chips. My recall was sharp and my deductive reasoning was on point. I felt like tonight was a real good night...
But, perfectionist that I am, the last hand I played tonight really bugs me.
My dumbass didn't save the hand history, so I shall re-construct it in pure Justin Cherot form.
Lemme set the table:
Five or six hands into heads-up with the blinds at 100-200 (quick tourney). The villain, a loose-aggressive but solid player, had me by about 1500 chips, like 7500-6000 or something like that. I came in with the chip lead but he was the aggressor, raising every button and check-raising two flops when I led out.
The hand before I felt like I had had the best hand with a pair of fours on a K-K-4-6-A board, but I folded, not wanting to risk my tourney life on a pair of fours. The next hand, I guess I try to send a message by raising on the button with K-3 off, a message that I'm not easily bullied or detered by attempts at bullying. I wasn't surprised when he called. After all, heads-up is a different ball game.
The flop came 4-6-3, two spades. He checked to me, and I fired $400. I wanted it to look like a continuation bet, because I thought that at that point I was winning. I wanted him to check-raise, and he did exactly that, a min. raise, same shit with the K-K-4 flop the hand before.
I really thought I had him, and I just smooth-called. Yes, I was slow-playing bottom pair because I thought I had him.
The turn was a K. Money card, especially in heads-up! I checked to him, this time hoping I could get a check-raise in. He bet $1200. I thought for a minute and really thought he was trying to run me over. Then, I back-tracked. Maybe he really did have a set, or 5-7. But, I came back to my senses. Why wouldn't he just let me hang myself, why wouldn't he just check-call? I re-popped all-in, and when he paused initially I thought I had caught him, maybe even scared him away from the hand.
Turned out his Internet connection was weak. He had 7-5 of hearts. I prayed futilely for the miracle K or 3, but, well, even online poker shouldn't reward such a miscue.
You can make the case that, especially in heads-up, once I hit the turn as hard as I did there was no turning back. But, honestly, I got outplayed. Hey, it happens. More often than it honestly should, but it happens.
That doesn't change the fact that for the most part I felt really good about tonight. I'm hoping I can ride the momentum.
"We just might be okay... after all."
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Seriously...
Try this exercise.
Find the last time I reported profit in this blog (and no, that's not including the sarcastic $3 post)I made. Go ahead, I'll wait.
Okay, I think I found it, but the funny part is I wasn't really reporting a "profit". It was more an amusing anecdote about how "well" I played A-K. The only thing that really tipped me off to that being a "profit" post is because I went into the whole Prahlad Friedman rap in the end (if you really haven't seen it by now, click his name). I was happy, giddy like a little school girl in church.
I'm not saying that poker ever used to be easy. Quite the contrary. I remember nights getting my ass handed to me in the beginning when I first started playing. Shit, I even remember sometimes playing against Langan (a freqeunt commenter on this blog) and asking if I could check or not. Mis-read boards, out of position bets, the whole nine. I would give people money.
I guess what I'm saying is that I really shouldn't be struggling the way I am. My poker growth chart would go something like this, and I guess I've been playing consistently for, what, almost five years now:
My first year I played with Monopoly pieces while still learning the rules.
Between my first and second year I went from worst to maybe second best at my now disbanded home game (the best player in that game I don't think really plays anymore).
Between my second and third year I was inconsistent but every once in awhile I would show flashes of brilliance that would really make me think I can turn this into more than just a typical hobby. Coincidentally this is also when I started playing online for money.
And, then there's this year, the equivalent of my senior year at poker university, the year where I should have put together all of the inconsistency and maybe--just maybe--worked my bankroll into something substantial, not like six figure substantial but decent.
But, let's be real.
I have developed so many holes in my game over the course of the past year that I feel I'm beyond repair. If this isn't rock bottom, I do not want to know what that feels like. I've read all these books and watched all these movies and yet, I have no concept at all of what it really means to have and maintain a bankroll. I'll do something dumb like play $1-$2 knowing that I only have like $1200 in my real account. I've played all of these hands and yet, I still call with two pair with a straight or flush possibility on the board when it's OBVIOUS that I have to make that laydown. I read and read and read about not being too loose, or at least not loose passive, and here I go, limping from early position with 5-4 off-suit trying to hit God knows what on the flop. I bet when I should check, check when I should bet, get run over by bullies, etc., etc.
Dog. I fucking suck.
Unlike in previous years, I do not feel myself getting any better or growing as a poker player. I keep making the same dumbass mistakes that most reasonable people learn within minutes of learning how to play hold 'em. And, here's the kicker.
I've found a somewhat consistent home game, and with all honesty you know what? I am by far the worst player in that game. It's not even that tough a game! But, I am by far the absolute worst player in that game.
I can't even name a player I'm better than right now. I really can't.
I've got to stop kidding myself into thinking I can do anything with this game.
Find the last time I reported profit in this blog (and no, that's not including the sarcastic $3 post)I made. Go ahead, I'll wait.
Okay, I think I found it, but the funny part is I wasn't really reporting a "profit". It was more an amusing anecdote about how "well" I played A-K. The only thing that really tipped me off to that being a "profit" post is because I went into the whole Prahlad Friedman rap in the end (if you really haven't seen it by now, click his name). I was happy, giddy like a little school girl in church.
I'm not saying that poker ever used to be easy. Quite the contrary. I remember nights getting my ass handed to me in the beginning when I first started playing. Shit, I even remember sometimes playing against Langan (a freqeunt commenter on this blog) and asking if I could check or not. Mis-read boards, out of position bets, the whole nine. I would give people money.
I guess what I'm saying is that I really shouldn't be struggling the way I am. My poker growth chart would go something like this, and I guess I've been playing consistently for, what, almost five years now:
My first year I played with Monopoly pieces while still learning the rules.
Between my first and second year I went from worst to maybe second best at my now disbanded home game (the best player in that game I don't think really plays anymore).
Between my second and third year I was inconsistent but every once in awhile I would show flashes of brilliance that would really make me think I can turn this into more than just a typical hobby. Coincidentally this is also when I started playing online for money.
And, then there's this year, the equivalent of my senior year at poker university, the year where I should have put together all of the inconsistency and maybe--just maybe--worked my bankroll into something substantial, not like six figure substantial but decent.
But, let's be real.
I have developed so many holes in my game over the course of the past year that I feel I'm beyond repair. If this isn't rock bottom, I do not want to know what that feels like. I've read all these books and watched all these movies and yet, I have no concept at all of what it really means to have and maintain a bankroll. I'll do something dumb like play $1-$2 knowing that I only have like $1200 in my real account. I've played all of these hands and yet, I still call with two pair with a straight or flush possibility on the board when it's OBVIOUS that I have to make that laydown. I read and read and read about not being too loose, or at least not loose passive, and here I go, limping from early position with 5-4 off-suit trying to hit God knows what on the flop. I bet when I should check, check when I should bet, get run over by bullies, etc., etc.
Dog. I fucking suck.
Unlike in previous years, I do not feel myself getting any better or growing as a poker player. I keep making the same dumbass mistakes that most reasonable people learn within minutes of learning how to play hold 'em. And, here's the kicker.
I've found a somewhat consistent home game, and with all honesty you know what? I am by far the worst player in that game. It's not even that tough a game! But, I am by far the absolute worst player in that game.
I can't even name a player I'm better than right now. I really can't.
I've got to stop kidding myself into thinking I can do anything with this game.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Mike Caro's Threshold of Misery
It's no secret: for the past six months I have played some of the most awful poker known to man. The support from my poker playing friends has been everything from "Hang in there" to "Take a hiatus". I'm more leaning towards the latter, but I've always been an optimist. Sooner or later the numbers will catch up, I'll start playing better and I'll have a WSOP bracelet.
Just making sure you were paying attention.
But, after one particular session a couple of weeks ago where I played horrendous, I went back to the drawing board for a minute and picked up Doyle Brunson's Super System 2, a title that Jim McManus, author of Positively Fifth Street, says makes no sense at all. Well, the title I don't neccesarily get, but when players drop as many jewels as they do in that book, it could be Doyle Brunson: Limping Made Gangsta for all I care. For anybody reading this blog, you're not really any kind of poker player until you've read the book.
I mention Super System because as I was glancing back over some chapters on trying to piece back together my fundamentals, I stumbled over Mike Caro's chapter. Now, I know he has his own book and everything with a lot of the same information, but there was one section in particular that got my attention, and it sums up a lot of not only what's been going on at the poker table, but my life as well.
I shall give you the most important snippet from his "Threshold of Misery" section:
"Few concepts have resonated with students more than Caro's Threshold of Misery. I continually receive letters, e-mails, and face to face thanks from both poker players and people in the "real world", telling me how much this simple truth has meant to them.
"Here's how it goes: suppose you're a small to medium limit player, and you can envision yourself comfortably losing a maximum of $1,500 today. I'm not suggesting that you'll be happy about losing that much, just that you can comfortably handle it and that anything more will begin to feel uncomfortable.
"Okay, now you find yourself down $500, then $1,100, then--before it registers, you've zoomed past $1,500 and are losing $1,800. You've entered dangerous territory. And it gets worse. And worse. Hours later, you find yourself losing $4,530. Now, your mind is numb. I believe that most people at this point can't mentally comprehend added losses. It all feels the same. You've crossed into Caro's Threshold of Misery, which is the point where mental and emotional pain is maximized and anything further won't register.
"You must be aware when you cross that threshold, because beyond it decisions don't seem to matter. This is true in real life, too. When romances unravel or businesses fail, you might cross the Threshold of Misery and stop caring about making critical decisions. That's because the pain is already maximized and anything else that goes wrong can't add to the agony... at these times, in poker and in life, the secret is to keep performing like you care."
And, I can say that on the poker table and in some other portions of my life, this theory rings so true. I can almost feel myself get that way in live cash games, when I get a big hand cracked and the next hand raise with 5-4 off because deep down I know that if I lose that pot it's not going to make me feel any worse.
On a grander scale of poker, from game to game I mean, it's like losing $40 isn't going to be that awful. Why? Because I've dropped a couple thousand this year, and what's another $40? That's the wrong way to approach poker.
That's the wrong way to approach life.
Even though shit really isn't panning out the way I thought it would, with poker, school--shit, my relationships, I have to get out of this mindset that, "Oh, who cares what I do? Everything's fucked up anyway."
Like Caro says, no matter what the results are, I have to keep performing as though I care, as though there is something at stake. That's the only way I'm going to bust out of this slump. No small ball gimics. No drastic changes in strategy (for the most part). I just have to perform the absolute best I can.
In all facets of life.
I used to give a fuck, now I can give a fuck less?
Fuck that, I done been under enough stress.
Just making sure you were paying attention.
But, after one particular session a couple of weeks ago where I played horrendous, I went back to the drawing board for a minute and picked up Doyle Brunson's Super System 2, a title that Jim McManus, author of Positively Fifth Street, says makes no sense at all. Well, the title I don't neccesarily get, but when players drop as many jewels as they do in that book, it could be Doyle Brunson: Limping Made Gangsta for all I care. For anybody reading this blog, you're not really any kind of poker player until you've read the book.
I mention Super System because as I was glancing back over some chapters on trying to piece back together my fundamentals, I stumbled over Mike Caro's chapter. Now, I know he has his own book and everything with a lot of the same information, but there was one section in particular that got my attention, and it sums up a lot of not only what's been going on at the poker table, but my life as well.
I shall give you the most important snippet from his "Threshold of Misery" section:
"Few concepts have resonated with students more than Caro's Threshold of Misery. I continually receive letters, e-mails, and face to face thanks from both poker players and people in the "real world", telling me how much this simple truth has meant to them.
"Here's how it goes: suppose you're a small to medium limit player, and you can envision yourself comfortably losing a maximum of $1,500 today. I'm not suggesting that you'll be happy about losing that much, just that you can comfortably handle it and that anything more will begin to feel uncomfortable.
"Okay, now you find yourself down $500, then $1,100, then--before it registers, you've zoomed past $1,500 and are losing $1,800. You've entered dangerous territory. And it gets worse. And worse. Hours later, you find yourself losing $4,530. Now, your mind is numb. I believe that most people at this point can't mentally comprehend added losses. It all feels the same. You've crossed into Caro's Threshold of Misery, which is the point where mental and emotional pain is maximized and anything further won't register.
"You must be aware when you cross that threshold, because beyond it decisions don't seem to matter. This is true in real life, too. When romances unravel or businesses fail, you might cross the Threshold of Misery and stop caring about making critical decisions. That's because the pain is already maximized and anything else that goes wrong can't add to the agony... at these times, in poker and in life, the secret is to keep performing like you care."
And, I can say that on the poker table and in some other portions of my life, this theory rings so true. I can almost feel myself get that way in live cash games, when I get a big hand cracked and the next hand raise with 5-4 off because deep down I know that if I lose that pot it's not going to make me feel any worse.
On a grander scale of poker, from game to game I mean, it's like losing $40 isn't going to be that awful. Why? Because I've dropped a couple thousand this year, and what's another $40? That's the wrong way to approach poker.
That's the wrong way to approach life.
Even though shit really isn't panning out the way I thought it would, with poker, school--shit, my relationships, I have to get out of this mindset that, "Oh, who cares what I do? Everything's fucked up anyway."
Like Caro says, no matter what the results are, I have to keep performing as though I care, as though there is something at stake. That's the only way I'm going to bust out of this slump. No small ball gimics. No drastic changes in strategy (for the most part). I just have to perform the absolute best I can.
In all facets of life.
I used to give a fuck, now I can give a fuck less?
Fuck that, I done been under enough stress.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Opposite Eminem
"I used to give a fuck, now I can give a fuck-less."
What do I think of success, wait it's the wrong subject,
I think my set is good, until the third club hits,
Then my success turns into over my budget,
After awhile I have to suspect my game has no substance,
Used to make smart plays, now I succumb to dumbness,
At the table I suffer from numbness,
I get comfortable, so much so I get undressed,
They bend me over, penetrate me with the hard deck,
I'm a Target, I paint my own bullseye, dead center,
Of my heart, it gets cut with diamonds,
'Till I bleed like hymens, 'cept my cherry's been popped,
I ain't runnin', I been got, like Cam'ron I been shot,
Now I'm runnin' in the red, shit, when will this stop?
I used to give a fuckless, now I give a fuck,
And that's the only reason I'm losin', let's flip-flop,
Then maybe I'll get back in shape, tip-top.
What do I think of success, wait it's the wrong subject,
I think my set is good, until the third club hits,
Then my success turns into over my budget,
After awhile I have to suspect my game has no substance,
Used to make smart plays, now I succumb to dumbness,
At the table I suffer from numbness,
I get comfortable, so much so I get undressed,
They bend me over, penetrate me with the hard deck,
I'm a Target, I paint my own bullseye, dead center,
Of my heart, it gets cut with diamonds,
'Till I bleed like hymens, 'cept my cherry's been popped,
I ain't runnin', I been got, like Cam'ron I been shot,
Now I'm runnin' in the red, shit, when will this stop?
I used to give a fuckless, now I give a fuck,
And that's the only reason I'm losin', let's flip-flop,
Then maybe I'll get back in shape, tip-top.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Sickest Thing I've Ever Seen...
Sorry I haven't blogged lately. In all honesty, I just haven't played much lately due to legal issues up the ass.
But... I do have to show you something absolutely sick...
These hand histories are not altered in anyway.
Hand #47422571-1031 at Ola (No Limit Hold'em)Started at 11/Nov/07 23:34:37
handbanana21 is at seat 0 with $58.15. party5100 is at seat 1 with $49.75. Tripset 30 is at seat 2 with $47.25. sambra80 is at seat 3 with $54.90. Booger888 is at seat 4 with $30.80. RubbaBandMan9 is at seat 5 with $58.30. The button is at seat 3. Booger888 posts the small blind of $.25. RubbaBandMan9 posts the big blind of $.50.
handbanana21: -- -- party5100: -- -- Tripset 30: 4d 3d sambra80: -- -- Booger888: -- -- RubbaBandMan9: -- --
Pre-flop: handbanana21 raises to $1.75. party5100 folds. Tripset 30 folds. sambra80 folds. Booger888 calls. RubbaBandMan9 calls.
Flop (board: Ks Ac 5d): Booger888 checks. RubbaBandMan9 checks. handbanana21 checks.
Turn (board: Ks Ac 5d Ad): Booger888 checks. RubbaBandMan9 checks. handbanana21 checks.
River (board: Ks Ac 5d Ad Ah): Booger888 checks. RubbaBandMan9 checks. handbanana21 checks.
Showdown: Booger888 shows As Qh. Booger888 has As Ks Ac Ad Ah: four aces. RubbaBandMan9 mucks cards. (RubbaBandMan9 has 9s 8h.) handbanana21 mucks cards. (handbanana21 has Td Ts.)
Hand #47422571-1031 Summary: $.25 is raked from a pot of $5.25. $.50 jackpot contribution is raked. Booger888 wins $4.50 with four aces.
Hand #47422571-1032 at Ola (No Limit Hold'em)Started at 11/Nov/07 23:35:25
handbanana21 is at seat 0 with $56.40. Tripset 30 is at seat 2 with $47.25. sambra80 is at seat 3 with $54.90. Booger888 is at seat 4 with $33.55. RubbaBandMan9 is at seat 5 with $56.55. The button is at seat 4. RubbaBandMan9 posts the small blind of $.25. handbanana21 posts the big blind of $.50.
handbanana21: -- -- Tripset 30: 2s Ac sambra80: -- -- Booger888: -- -- RubbaBandMan9: -- --
Pre-flop: Tripset 30 raises to $1.50. sambra80 folds. Booger888 calls. RubbaBandMan9 calls. handbanana21 folds.
Flop (board: Th Td Jc): RubbaBandMan9 checks. Tripset 30 bets $2.50. Booger888 calls. RubbaBandMan9 folds.
Turn (board: Th Td Jc Tc): Tripset 30 checks. Booger888 checks.
River (board: Th Td Jc Tc Kh): Tripset 30 checks. Booger888 bets $5. Tripset 30 folds. Booger888 is returned $5 (uncalled).
Booger888 opts to show Qc Ts. Booger888 has Ts Th Td Tc Kh: four tens.
Hand #47422571-1032 Summary: $.50 is raked from a pot of $10. $.50 jackpot contribution is raked. Booger888 wins $9.
Not a misprint: Booger888 had quads twice in less than one minute. That is probably the most insane thing I've seen at a poker table, live or online.
Close second is when, merely a half an hour before that, I got knocked out of a tourney where I put a dude all-in for almost the rest of my chips with Qs on a board of 10-9-6 (two spades but hardly the point) and I get called by A-2 off. Yes, I lost this hand.
Leave your sickest poker stories under comments.
But... I do have to show you something absolutely sick...
These hand histories are not altered in anyway.
Hand #47422571-1031 at Ola (No Limit Hold'em)Started at 11/Nov/07 23:34:37
handbanana21 is at seat 0 with $58.15. party5100 is at seat 1 with $49.75. Tripset 30 is at seat 2 with $47.25. sambra80 is at seat 3 with $54.90. Booger888 is at seat 4 with $30.80. RubbaBandMan9 is at seat 5 with $58.30. The button is at seat 3. Booger888 posts the small blind of $.25. RubbaBandMan9 posts the big blind of $.50.
handbanana21: -- -- party5100: -- -- Tripset 30: 4d 3d sambra80: -- -- Booger888: -- -- RubbaBandMan9: -- --
Pre-flop: handbanana21 raises to $1.75. party5100 folds. Tripset 30 folds. sambra80 folds. Booger888 calls. RubbaBandMan9 calls.
Flop (board: Ks Ac 5d): Booger888 checks. RubbaBandMan9 checks. handbanana21 checks.
Turn (board: Ks Ac 5d Ad): Booger888 checks. RubbaBandMan9 checks. handbanana21 checks.
River (board: Ks Ac 5d Ad Ah): Booger888 checks. RubbaBandMan9 checks. handbanana21 checks.
Showdown: Booger888 shows As Qh. Booger888 has As Ks Ac Ad Ah: four aces. RubbaBandMan9 mucks cards. (RubbaBandMan9 has 9s 8h.) handbanana21 mucks cards. (handbanana21 has Td Ts.)
Hand #47422571-1031 Summary: $.25 is raked from a pot of $5.25. $.50 jackpot contribution is raked. Booger888 wins $4.50 with four aces.
Hand #47422571-1032 at Ola (No Limit Hold'em)Started at 11/Nov/07 23:35:25
handbanana21 is at seat 0 with $56.40. Tripset 30 is at seat 2 with $47.25. sambra80 is at seat 3 with $54.90. Booger888 is at seat 4 with $33.55. RubbaBandMan9 is at seat 5 with $56.55. The button is at seat 4. RubbaBandMan9 posts the small blind of $.25. handbanana21 posts the big blind of $.50.
handbanana21: -- -- Tripset 30: 2s Ac sambra80: -- -- Booger888: -- -- RubbaBandMan9: -- --
Pre-flop: Tripset 30 raises to $1.50. sambra80 folds. Booger888 calls. RubbaBandMan9 calls. handbanana21 folds.
Flop (board: Th Td Jc): RubbaBandMan9 checks. Tripset 30 bets $2.50. Booger888 calls. RubbaBandMan9 folds.
Turn (board: Th Td Jc Tc): Tripset 30 checks. Booger888 checks.
River (board: Th Td Jc Tc Kh): Tripset 30 checks. Booger888 bets $5. Tripset 30 folds. Booger888 is returned $5 (uncalled).
Booger888 opts to show Qc Ts. Booger888 has Ts Th Td Tc Kh: four tens.
Hand #47422571-1032 Summary: $.50 is raked from a pot of $10. $.50 jackpot contribution is raked. Booger888 wins $9.
Not a misprint: Booger888 had quads twice in less than one minute. That is probably the most insane thing I've seen at a poker table, live or online.
Close second is when, merely a half an hour before that, I got knocked out of a tourney where I put a dude all-in for almost the rest of my chips with Qs on a board of 10-9-6 (two spades but hardly the point) and I get called by A-2 off. Yes, I lost this hand.
Leave your sickest poker stories under comments.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
PROFIT!!!
And, I'm not kidding when I say this, I'm ecstatic. I played my ass off tonight. Good to break out of the slump!!!!
Now, I just have to find out how to spend my $3.
Now, I just have to find out how to spend my $3.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
...
I have no fucking clue what's wrong with me.
I am currently going through the absolute sickest run in my poker "career". Usually when I say sick, it's some sort of crazy slang that kids use, like, "Did you see that sick Nate Robinson dunk?" or such. No.
I mean sick as in I have the urge to vomit without caring if I get anything in the toilet.
And, basically that's where my game is: in the toilet. I like, can't do anything right at the poker table, online or live. The funny thing is that I cannot blame it on a bad run of cards. I am playing really fucking bad right now. My poker swagger is completely gone. It's gotten to the point where I feel really lucky if I win a pot. As a matter of fact, I feel like I have to get lucky to win a pot. My middle pair has to hit again on the turn or the river, or I have to hit my inside straight draw or my flush draw against the odds to win a pot.
It's not like I'm playing against Phil Hellmuth, either. I'm struggling against average poker players, everyday run of the mill poker players (note to some people who read this more regularly than others: this doesn't include you). Seriously, something's got to change.
I'm smarter poker-wise than I was last year, but it doesn't translate to the actual game, and for whatever reason I'm making ten times as many mistakes. It's fuckin' depressing as hell.
I feel like a basketball team who shoots 20% from the floor against a team that shoots in the mid 60's: like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong and there's nothing I can do about it.
I've tried literally everything, and it seems like the harder I try, the worse I play. I just need to TASTE a positive session. That's all; all I want is to be $1 in the black.
$1. Is that too much to ask?
I am currently going through the absolute sickest run in my poker "career". Usually when I say sick, it's some sort of crazy slang that kids use, like, "Did you see that sick Nate Robinson dunk?" or such. No.
I mean sick as in I have the urge to vomit without caring if I get anything in the toilet.
And, basically that's where my game is: in the toilet. I like, can't do anything right at the poker table, online or live. The funny thing is that I cannot blame it on a bad run of cards. I am playing really fucking bad right now. My poker swagger is completely gone. It's gotten to the point where I feel really lucky if I win a pot. As a matter of fact, I feel like I have to get lucky to win a pot. My middle pair has to hit again on the turn or the river, or I have to hit my inside straight draw or my flush draw against the odds to win a pot.
It's not like I'm playing against Phil Hellmuth, either. I'm struggling against average poker players, everyday run of the mill poker players (note to some people who read this more regularly than others: this doesn't include you). Seriously, something's got to change.
I'm smarter poker-wise than I was last year, but it doesn't translate to the actual game, and for whatever reason I'm making ten times as many mistakes. It's fuckin' depressing as hell.
I feel like a basketball team who shoots 20% from the floor against a team that shoots in the mid 60's: like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong and there's nothing I can do about it.
I've tried literally everything, and it seems like the harder I try, the worse I play. I just need to TASTE a positive session. That's all; all I want is to be $1 in the black.
$1. Is that too much to ask?
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